And Yet
by suitsfan
Summary: "Thought you didn't care about me?" "And yet, here I am."


Just get through the day.

It sounds so easy. Mike thought it would be easier with time. Time heals all wounds, that's what people say, right? It's not true. Time doesn't heal anything. The wound is always there. It just scabs over and turns into a scar with time. A scar that you can look at and instantly be taken back to what caused it. Mike guesses people don't say that because it doesn't sound as pretty.

There used to be Trevor, and a haze of smoke that helped get him through the anniversary of his parent's death. He doesn't have either of those things now, and he misses Trevor right now more than he has in a long time. It wasn't that Trevor always knew the right things to say to him on this day, it was that Trevor knew exactly what _not_ to say to him. He feels selfish for wanting to call him. He'd been so busy the past two months he hadn't even gotten a chance to think about him.

He wouldn't call though. He knew better. Instead he'd try to shove his emotions as far down as they could go, go to work, and do the best impersonation of himself as he could in order to get through the day.

* * *

><p>He got to work late, not by much, but he was greeted by an impatient Harvey grilling him about the importance of punctuality, and threatening his job if he didn't learn how to keep track of time better. If he hadn't heard that same speech several times before, he would have thought it was some sort of indicator of how the day was going to go.<p>

On his way to his desk, he's bumped into by someone clearly so in a hurry that they don't even have the time to watch where they're going. Coffee spills all over his jacket, and the person yells at Mike for being in _their_ way. Somehow Mike ends up apologizing profusely for the incident, which wasn't even remotely his fault and then offering to pay for their coffee.

Once finally at his desk, he takes off his now coffee soaked jacket, and hangs it on the back of his chair. At least he didn't get burnt. That was the bright side. Of course, even the bright sides were a little dull today.

He drowns himself in work. That helps take his mind off of things for a little bit. Louis eventually stops by and tells, not asks, tells Mike that he's going to lunch with him. Mike tries to tell Louis that he can't go because he has things to get done for Harvey. Louis just shoots him a look like what he just said was the most unimportant insignificant thing anybody's ever said to him, so Mike just sighs heavily and follows Louis. He wants to go home.

* * *

><p>Lunch with Louis was just what Mike imagined lunch with Louis would be like. Only worse. The potential clients they were having lunch with kept trying to ask Mike about his family. Mike tried to be polite as he could, and change the subject, but they were relentless, and Louis stabbing an elbow into Mike's ribs, and giving him wide eyed death glares trying to encourage him to say something was enough that Mike had to excuse himself. He ran to the bathroom and splashed water on his face. He could feel the tears starting to gather in his eyes. He turned the faucet on cold, and splashed the icy water on his face. He was not going to cry. He could not cry. This was too much though. He should have called off work.<p>

He was realizing now it was a mistake to to come in. At least if he would have stayed home, he could have cried. Let it all out. He didn't stay home though, because he didn't want to be alone. Which is kind of ridiculous when he thought about it, because even surrounded by people he had felt alone.

"What the hell were you thinking, Mike?" Louis burst into the bathroom, startling Mike, who was still leaning over the sink, elbows resting on the counter. "I'm not sure what Harvey is teaching you, but when a client asks you a question, the protocol is to answer it."

"Since when was it my job requirement to talk about my personal life?"

"It's your job requirement when I tell you it's your job requirement. Just like not ditching a meeting is also a requirement. Harvey didn't teach you that one either? Not surprising."

"I didn't feel good."

"Aww. Poor baby. Oh wait, I don't care. Suck it up, Ross. Luckily we had my charm to fall back on or that could have been a total disaster. Now let's go before you screw up something else."

* * *

><p>"Where the hell were you at, Mike? I've been trying to get a hold of you for the past hour."<p>

"I, uh, Louis actually, he made me go t-"

"Wrong answer. The answer is you were not here, where you're supposed to be. If you're not here to do work I need you to do it, then why did I hire you in the first place?"

"You know what, Harvey? Could you just maybe spare me the lectures for one god damn day?"

"Excuse me?"

"Just forget it."

"Is everything okay? Did something happen with Louis?"

"Could you just tell me what you need me to do so I can get back to work?"

"Tell me what's wrong first."

"Nothing is wrong."

"You're a terrible liar. Tell me, Mike. What is it? _Trevor_?"

"Screw you, Harvey," Mike spat, turning and walking towards Harvey's office door.

"Where do you think you're going?"

"Home."

"I didn't say you could leave."

"Fine. I quit then."

Harvey had known something was off with Mike from the moment he talked to him this morning. Harvey hated throwing Trevor's name out like that, because he knew how Mike always responded to it, but he needed to make sure. It definitely wasn't Trevor, which allowed Harvey to breathe a small sigh of relief. Harvey also knew that Mike was upset, but he wasn't dumb. He wasn't going to quit, or even go home. In fact, Harvey was pretty sure he knew where Mike was going to go. He'd give Mike a little time to cool off before going to check.

* * *

><p>Mike heard the sound of the rooftop door slamming shut behind him, but didn't move to acknowledge it.<p>

"Thought I might find you here," Harvey said, as he walked over and stood next to Mike.

Mike's eyes were red, puffy, and full of tears. Harvey felt his heart twist in his chest at the sight. He'd never seen Mike look so..._broken_.

"What do you want?" Mike finally says. He still keeps his eyes focused straight ahead.

"Thought you were quitting?"

"I was. And yet, here I am."

"I'm glad," Harvey replies. He then takes off his suit jacket and drapes it over Mike's shoulders.

"Thought you didn't care about me?"

"And yet, here I am."

Mike feels the tears pour from his eyes uncontrollably again. Harvey moves a hand over to Mike's shoulder, hesitating at first to touch him, before gently laying it down on his shoulder and giving it a comforting squeeze. Mike turns into Harvey, buries his head in Harvey's neck and grips the fabric of Harvey's shirt so tight that his knuckles turn white. He stands there, crying and holding onto Harvey like he's the only thing in this world keeping him from physically falling apart at the seams. And in a way, he kind of is.

Harvey doesn't say anything. Not a single word. Not an assurance that everything will be okay. He's just there. And that's exactly what Mike needed. Just somebody to be there for him.

Mike finally exhausts himself crying, sniffles, and pulls away from the warmth of Harvey's embrace. "Not sure whether I should thank or apologize to you first."

"Neither. What you _can_ do though, is help me figure out the Thompson thing I was telling you about the other day ago. I'll even spring for pizza. You up for it?"

Mike knew exactly what Harvey was doing. Harvey wanted to keep an eye on him. Mike didn't mind though, it was a well welcomed distraction, and more importantly, he didn't have to be alone.

"Yeah, sure. I'm up for it."

"Good. Let's get back inside, it's freezing out here," Harvey said, as he started to move towards the door.

"Harvey?"

"Yeah?"

"I know you said I didn't have to..but thank you. I mean it."

"Anytime."


End file.
